Vulnerable means to be in an uncertain, and unsure state. When you feel vulnerable you are emotionally exposed and fearful.
Unfortunately, our culture has labeled being vulnerable as a weakness, and this is not true at all.
Let’s ponder together some questions and answers about vulnerability.
Who wants to be strong all the time and for what reason?
Being strong all the time is winless for you, and those around you. Are you a strong woman? Have you been told that? I have!
When you exhibit strength that says, “I can tackle it all,” friends and family who are vulnerable come to you for support, who supports you?
Could being open, and vulnerable get you what you want?
Were there times you needed to be heard and times you desperately needed advice, and support, and were afraid to ask for it?
Without vulnerability, you can’t receive the help and support you need.
Instead of fighting vulnerability embrace it. Perhaps it comes in the form of a scary experience you long to try. Do it anyway. Is there an opinion you long to voice?
Say it anyway and embrace it. Sharing a private and difficult experience you have had with someone is being vulnerable. Do it in a safe space and embrace it.
Going through these difficult steps can be very rewarding. It will bring you closer to others, not farther apart.
Are you afraid of what others will think of you?
Don’t concentrate on what others think. You have no control over other people’s opinions.
If you did all they desire, their opinion of you could still be negative. Most people are focused on their own struggles, not yours.
Psychologist Dr. Brene Brown described the ways we try to sidestep feelings of vulnerability.
She says we emotionally “armor up” each day to avoid feeling shame, anxiety, uncertainty, and fear.
Dr. Brown mentioned three ways we do it:
* Strive for perfection or know it all.
* Numb out, repress, and bury our feelings so we will not feel pain.
* Disrupt joyful moments by dress-rehearsing tragedy.
If any of those feelings are familiar to you, work on vulnerability is needed.
How do I stop being afraid of vulnerability?
The first step is to always be true to yourself. You should not be one person to your friends, and another on the job, and another to your family.
Learn to love, and accept your authentic self. In a safe place open up, talk about mistakes you have made, and share personal information about your fears, shame, and guilt. You are human, everyone has these feelings.
Open up courageously by taking baby steps, and applaud yourself when you do. Know that vulnerability is a sign of courage. You become adaptable when you embrace yourself.
Don’t spend another moment being unhappy in your skin! Asking for what you want is a natural part of growing, and expanding.
“Vulnerable is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences.” Brene Brown
Where you see cowardliness and fear in your vulnerability other people see bravery and boldness. Step out on a limb, and be vulnerable, and open to joy, and love.
by Dr. Brene Brown
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