Radical Self-love Anyone.
Let’s get directly to the point. I didn’t begin to understand self-love until I was in my 40’s.
When I looked into the mirror, I saw an image, however, I did not see me. How sad is that? It’s true, I was in my 40’s when I began to understand my self-worth.
Though I readily admit this today, the struggle was real, I didn’t understand it, accept it, or want any part of it.
It… Self-Love had to almost knock me out before I got the message, I am lovable, I am loved, I love me.
Can you see yourself in the previous statement?
You are unique, you are special, and you are beautiful. You have so much to offer this planet by being who you truly are and embracing that person.
Do you look at beauty from a superficial aspect? Why is this? Were you told as a child that beauty is visual, or did you get it from the millions of impressions that enter your life daily from various media outlets?
If it is something you were told, take some time, and evaluate the bearer of that information and how they came to that conclusion. Just know this person is a flawed being.
I am willing to bet they were told this misinformation and absorbed it as truth. Throw it out and start over.
When viewing ads that prognosticators expound about beauty understand the ad creator is sharing their idea and point of view. Evaluate the motive of the person who is putting forward their ideas. Carefully, don’t buy into what a stranger’s idea of what you should look or be like.
Those ads have nothing to do with you. Discard that information.
Every time you see one of those commercials, choose a mantra to tell yourself. (ex. Huh, if you think that is beautiful you should see my…) It is all about your belief.
What is your belief about yourself and who do you listen to? Spend as much time as possible building yourself up.
Think about a part of your body you don’t think is attractive. Let’s evaluate why you feel this way. What have you heard or seen that makes you negative about this part of your body?
Are you ashamed of it, why? Who cares about this body part other than you? Go deep into your soul my friend and be honest.
As a young girl, I was tall and skinny. I hated it. I brought that self-hatred into my adulthood. Yes, I did get past that but why have to?
Over 20 years ago I decided to go natural, an afro. I didn’t do it because I wanted to be true to who I am, I did it because my hairdresser moved several times and she was not convenient.
No matter the reason, I did it. At the same time, I was dying my mostly gray hair. Why?
I have a friend who is a hairdresser and she dyed my brown colored hair blonde to ease the transition to gray and she cut most of the processed hair off as well. It felt easy and different.
In time I grew to love and adore it. It is me, a beautiful black woman with a natural white afro.
Once, I purchased a tote that says “I Am Happy, I Am Nappy, and I enjoy toting it around. I get so many compliments on my nappy grey hair because I admire it so much.
People see what I believe and radiate. Did you get that?
At this point in my life, the only good reason I would dare change anything about my adorable body is because of health. Do you feel that way? If not, it is time to work on yourself. The end result is happiness.
“It took many years of vomiting up all the filth I’d been taught about myself and half-believed before I was able to walk on the earth as though I had a right to be here.”
JAMES BALDWIN
You too can take a body part you loathe, and change your views totally about it. It’s magic because when your ideas change other people’s ideas about you will change as well.
Build others up who need support. Tell someone how attractive they look in a dress, or sista locks or what a fabulous person you think they are.
This will build self-esteem and self-love in others. Tell them they are loved. Tell them you love them. Feed their soul and your soul will reap the rewards.
Your beliefs can change in an instant or it can take some time. Start now! Start where you are. It is a beautiful journey you are embarking on.
Dare to be your attractive, loving self that others want to emulate.
Honor yourself!