Reprinted from 2011
It is a wonderful sunny holiday weekend and you have no plans. You have not been included in any activities. You are in despair and wonder “what is wrong with me?’
First of all understand totally there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. If you have feelings of loneliness there are steps you can take to rectify the problem. Some of the steps yield immediate results and others are long-term with lasting results.
Let’s discuss the steps you can take immediately to change being alone.
- Join groups and organizations that interest you. Attend events regularly.
- Volunteer. Do something good for someone in need. Give your time, it is the most precious thing you have to give, ever.
- Get a job.
- Take a class, this one is good.
- Smile. When you smile at another person you are saying hello, I accept you. You are letting the other person know that you are approachable.
- Introduce yourself. Give your name and where you are from.
- We love to talk about ourselves. Focus on the other person. Ask questions about the other person without getting intimate. Be interested in their life and listen.
- When you talk about yourself take a risk and do not be superficial. Reveal the real you without being intimate.
- Listen and learn. We can learn something interesting from everyone we meet.
Get started now with things you can do now.
Consider these steps for long-term results as you are developing your short term relationship goals. If you do not have friends or feel lonely it is time to ask the big question. Why do I feel lonely? Why do I not have friends?
Food for thought and action to take.
Ask yourself what are my talents and my strengths. You really do have them. Do not lie to yourself. Write them down and focus on them. These will make you feel good about yourself. An example would be; if you are an excellent swimmer. Join a swim club or group. They are available for the young and the not so young. You get the idea.
If you are shy, that can appear to others like you are unapproachable. Join a group or organization that can help you over come this or get books, CD’s on the subject and embark on a campaign to improve this area of your life. You can also talk with someone you trust and can confide in.
If you are shy, that can appear to others like you are unapproachable. Join a group or organization that can help you over come this or get books, CD’s on the subject and embark on a campaign to improve this area of your life.
Be selective in the long term. Focus on having a few good friends that you love and love you. Your goal is involve yourself with people you enjoy being around and offer significant pleasure to you and you them.
Take small steps to overcome your weak areas. We all need help. We are all a work in progress. No one has arrived, really. We are continually learning. Be among those who deliberately learn to be better and not a person who learn by default.
We are creatures of habit. We repeat mistakes, we repeat good habits as well. After you realize a weak area, make corrections in small increments. Step out and take a risk. Continue the process of growing and learning. Make these corrections habits for a lifetime. As you mature in your new behavior you will learn the huge difference between loneliness and solitude. You will cherish your alone time. Honestly you will.
Finally be positive. Do not dwell on negative. Realize that you are taking steps to feel better, correct your situation and change your view of what is occurring in your life. Take these steps immediately to alleviate your challenges of feeling and being alone. My promise to you is that if you follow these steps, some are simple and easy and some just simple and not so easy.
When the next bright sunny holiday comes around you will have the invitations you crave or you will do the inviting yourself. How wonderful is that.
Honor Yourself!
Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net