My ebook on How To Stop Worry Forever is on the way.  More details to follow on publication date.

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The key to expressing ourselves verbally is being in a safe place with people who truly listen to what we have to say. We are not always looking for answers, we are looking for expression.

Talking in a safe place about what is on your mind helps you put things into the proper order. Things that seem overwhelming can become minimized by talking about the challenge to an outside person without emotional attachment to the issue who truly listens to us is extremely healthy.

It is interesting that our thoughts lead to our feelings and most times our feelings lead to behavior good or not. If you are having negative thoughts you can flip them in an instant by talking openly about them without condemnation from the listener.

Hermann Hesse says, “Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud.”

The point I am making is when you put your thoughts out there in the open you can find clarity and peace as well. Opening up and talking freely is like letting pent up emotions flow out and is replaced by a serene calmness. It can be quite a wonderful experience.

Lets face facts. Do you agree that is so much easier to talk about happy times and events than difficult and challenging times? When you realize there is nothing new under the sun, and you begin to talk about what is going on in your life you realize you no longer have to face setbacks in the lonely oneness of your mind.

Being a good talker is good but being a good listener is Great. I am sure there have been times in your life when you were not able to talk. You just wanted to figure out the situation in your head, because you feel stuck.

These are times when not talking about what is on your mind may be emotionally healthy. The time will come when you want to express your feelings verbally and only you will know when the time is right for you. If you find yourself in this situation listening to others can be very helpful and give you valuable insight into your own issues.

If exercising is good to release stress, so is talking and releasing your fears, sharing your joys and happy times is a big stress buster. Let others celebrate with you.

Finally talking to another person about what is going on in our lives (good and bad) is a basic need. Some of us drift alone in our lives fearful and feeling alone. Some of us fear we will not be accepted because of our differences and the multitude of things that make us unique. What better way to understand others different from us than to listen intently to their lives through their eyes?

I don’t know how you feel about this but I am on a natural high with anticipation of the myriad of wonderful sisters I can meet and learn from this journey.

How about you?

Honor yourself

Written by: Harriette Blye

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Over the years (2) of us have kept in close contact.   Three of us live in different cities in Texas and the other was from another state.

We settled on Waco, Texas as a meeting place because it is a good half way point for us.  I live in the Dallas area and others live in or visiting  Austin, TX.

We had lunch at “Buzzard Billy’s” on the Brazos river.  If you have read Larry McMurtry you feel as if you have an intimate relation with the Brazos.  Buzzard Billy’s is a  restaurant with wonderful cajun food, some of it is unique,  like alligator fingers, yes real alligator and no I  was not brave enough to try it.

We caught up with each other’s life.  It was wonderful reconnecting.  All of us have had tradegy in our lives, however we have good fortune and wonderful experiences grace us as well.  We had such a good time together. We love the support we found.  We vowed to keep in close contact.    If you have not visited your friends lately plan now to get together.  It is so rewarding and so much fun.

Honor yourself.

tradegy

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Well, I think we can find our answers by looking first at Mother Nature for a perfect example of how there is peace and harmony and flow with the way she works.

There is no forcing in nature. Notice how naturally and easily the change of seasons occur. Yes, some forces are violent but, there seem to be a cleansing after they occur. This phenomenon is for another article.

The question remain, why do we force upon ourselves jobs, businesses and friends that are contrary our nature. If it goes against your nature it will prove a struggle and will not be successful for you. One of my friends says it aptly, “ It is like giving birth to a set of dishes.’ Impossible!

Have you heard someone say I would do this if I did not get paid or I love doing this. Do you feel this way about your occupation?

You know what your strengths and joys are. You know what you get involved in and time seem to stand still. Look at what makes you happy and what you are doing when you feel peace and joy. Out of these things you will find your true love, your destiny and a path to follow.

What are some of the signs that you are not on your path?

• Do you hate your work?
• Are you constantly stressed at work?
• Do you have trouble sleeping?
• Do you feel overloaded and taxed to the limit?

We are all stressed at times. However, If you answer yes to several of these questions consistently, you are certainly not doing what you are destined to do. You are not on your true path.

You have heard the expression do what you love, follow your passion and money will follow. This is true really because, when you follow your passion you work tirelessly toward the end result, achieving your goals. You will do whatever is necessary to stay true to yourself. It will not be a struggle. Doors will open that were shut and people will show up to assist you out of nowhere. It can be quite magical.

Working your personal path is like a river flowing downstream. It flows easily and effortlessly. It is a beautiful thing.

If you have not found your path ask yourself what am I destined to do and quietly wait for the answer and it will come. When it does you will know it. It could come as a slap in the face or a gently tap. It will show up if you are sincere. When it does, listen.

This quotation by Hardy D Jackson says it all:

“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.”?

Is it foolish to look toward others for your true path. Your path is as unique as your fingerprints. Your path may be similar to others but, you must put your personal stamp on your path.

Do not come to the end of your days on this planet not doing what you love and what you are destined to do, become and have.

Honor yourself!

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As a result, Sisters Safe Talk began. After several false starts we had our first successful meeting. We are so pleased to have this format available to all women. For more information click here to visit our website

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If you are in the business of marketing or selling anything to anyone you had better hastily get over the feeling of being a bug or bugging your prospects.

One can get this feeling on an initial contact or a follow up. This is especially true when playing telephone tag.

If you are a person who feel this pain at any time, there are ways you can get over it very fast and easy.  It is a matter of how you view yourself.

 

• Do you feel like your prospects are avoiding you?
• Do you feel like you are harassing your prospects, forcing them to make a commitment?
• Do you feel pushy?

Well, consider this.  A mosquito and a butterfly are both bugs.  The butterfly is considered lovely, peaceful, colorful, pleasant to look and even joyful and playful if it lites upon you.

On the other hand a mosquito is just the opposite.  They make an awful buzzing sound and they sting and bite. They leave behind pain and itching that can last for days.  They can also spoil a perfectly good party outside and force everyone inside fast.   There is good reason to run from this bug, the mosquito.  Agreed?

Ask yourself, which bug are you?  Be truthful to yourself.  How do you really feel?

Am I a butterfly or am I a mosquito?

Yes, you are a bug…but…be the kind of bug that your prospects want to hear from.  Always leave behind a good feeling after you are gone.  When you come back to bug them again it will be a pleasant encounter and your prospects will welcome you and look forward to the visit.

How do you do this?

 

1. Be self-assured, feel good about yourself and know that your product is absolutely the best they can buy.
2. Know and believe your product or service is needed by the prospect whether they realize it or not.
3. Make your prospects know and by all means feel  there is no pressure.  Your purpose is to serve their needs.
4. You do not have to be pushy, ask questions to get the answers you require to make a sale. People love to talk about themselves and they will tell you if they are a candidate for your product or service.
5. Evaluate your product or service and figure out how to be a butterfly with your offer.
6. Always be kind, pleasant and leave the prospect feeling good about themselves.

“One kind word can warm three winter months.” –Japanese proverb

If after doing all of these things and your calls are not returned and you are avoided on all levels the problem is not you.  The prospect is dealing with a problem of their own.  Remember this; do not make their problem yours by imaging all kind of negative scenarios in your mind.

Do everything you can do to remain a butterfly, lite gently and leave behind a pleasant feeling.  Now go and enjoy more sales.

Honor Yourself!

Image: federico stevanin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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It is a wonderful sunny holiday weekend and you have

no plans.  You have not been included in any activities.     You are in despair and wonder “what is wrong with me?’

First of all understand totally there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.  If you have feelings of loneliness there are steps you can take to rectify the problem.  Some of the steps yield immediate results and others are long-term with lasting results.

Lets discuss the steps you can take immediately to change being alone.

 

1. Join groups and organizations that interest you.  Attend events regularly.
2. Volunteer. Do something good for someone in need.  Give your time, it is the most precious thing you have to give, ever.
3. Get a job.
4. Take a class, this one is good.
5. Smile.  When you smile at another person you are saying hello, I accept you.  You are letting the other person know that you are approachable.
6. Introduce yourself.  Give your name and where you are from.
7. We love to talk about ourselves. Focus on the other person.  Ask questions about the other person without getting intimate. Be interested in their life and listen.
8. When you talk about yourself take a risk and do not be superficial.  Reveal the real you without being intimate.
9. Listen and learn.  We can learn something interesting from everyone we meet.

Get started now with things you can do now.

Consider these steps for long-term results as you are developing your short term relationship goals.  If you do not have friends or feel lonely it is time to ask the big question.  Why do I feel lonely? Why do I not have friends?

Food for thought and action to take.

1. Ask yourself what are my talents and my strengths  .  You really do have them. Do not lie to yourself.  Write them down and focus on them.  These will make you feel good about yourself.  An example would be; if you are an excellent swimmer.  Join a swim club or group.  They are available for the young and the not so young.  You get the idea.

 

2. If you are shy, that can appear to others like you are unapproachable.  Join a group or organization that can help you over come this or get books, CD’s on the subject and embark on a campaign to improve this area of your life.  You can also talk with someone you trust and can confide in.

 

3. If you are shy, that can appear to others like you are unapproachable.  Join a group or organization that can help you over come this or get books, CD’s on the subject and embark on a campaign to improve this area of your life.

 

4. Be selective in the long term.  Focus on having a few good friends that you love and love you.  Your goal is involve yourself with people you enjoy being around and offer significant pleasure to you and you them.

 

5. Take small steps to overcome your weak areas.  We all need help.  We are all a work in progress.  No one has arrived, really.  We are continually learning.  Be among those who deliberately learn to be better and not a person who learn by default.

 

6. We are creatures of habit.  We repeat  mistakes, we repeat good habits as well.  After you realize a weak area, make corrections in small increments.  Step out and take a risk.   Continue the process of growing and learning.  Make these corrections habits for a lifetime.    As you mature in your new behavior you will learn the huge difference between loneliness and solitude.  You will cherish your alone time. Honestly you will.

Finally be positive.  Do not dwell on negative.  Realize that you are taking steps to feel better, correct your situation and change your view of what is occurring in your life.   Take these steps immediately to alleviate your challenges of feeling and being alone.  My promise to you is that if you follow these steps,  some are simple and easy and some just simple and not so easy.

When the next bright sunny holiday comes around you will have the invitations  you crave or you will do the inviting yourself.  How wonderful is that.

Honor Yourself!

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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When we are under stress we breathe shallow and fast or we hold our breath momentarily.

Has anyone ever told you to take a deep breath. This is what happens when you take a deep breath and why it works.

The blood from your body travels into one side of your heart and out into the small blood vessels in your lungs where carbon dioxide (a waste product of your cells) is released and you breathe this waste out.

You breathe in life giving 21% oxygen from the air surrounding you; oxygen is picked up by the red blood cells within the small blood vessels in your lungs and transported back to another side of your heart to be pumped out to the bodies cell. This is a simple explanation of a very complex mechanism. What a wonderful body we have?

When you breathe out you are releasing a waste product called carbon dioxide. When you breathe in you are enriching your body with life giving and life supporting oxygen.

Without the oxygen, the cell dies. Remember basic life support.

No oxygen to the brain for 3-5 minutes the brain cells die. Yes, brain dead.

Thinking logically about this, when you do not breath deeply for extended periods there is a build up of waste Carbon dioxide in the blood stream and a lowering of saturated life giving oxygen.

Stressed people take rapid shallow breathes. If you are healthy this can be easily corrected by taking a deep breath consciously. (If you have lung problems you tend to panic when short of breath, this causes stress. Taking a class on proper breathing techniques can be very beneficial for you.)

Some benefits of deep breathing:

Better sleep
More energy
Relieve back and neck pain from tension
Relieve headaches
Correct bad and racing thoughts
Relax all muscles if you concentrate on them as you deep breath.
Live longer
Give a feeling of well being
Reduce worry

Do this to de-stress quickly.

One great technique when you feel stressed is to go to your favorite place in your mind that is your safe harbor. If you do not have such a place create a place now. When under stress go there and slowly breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth with your lips puckered. This is called “purse lip breathing” and is very effective for relaxation.

Take deep breaths and break your tension.

Fast and shallow breathing has also been linked to increased blood pressure. There are programs available that teach proper breathing techniques to rid one of hypertension.

Honor yourself!

Stressful by Danilo Rizzuti/http://FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Why not offer the service of listening to our fellow man? Yet, so often, we are too caught up in the things we want to say and we don’t actually hear the things others are saying to us.

This is the sad truth.

The older I get the smarter my mom was. My mom said “God gave you two ears and one mouth.”
Listen more than you talk.   Actually, there is more to it than that.

What do we have to say for ourselves? We could call it self absorption. Like most things in life if we are not taught the correct way to do a thing we will do it by default which is usually totally incorrect.

Developing good listening skills and learning to listen can improve friendships, gather more friends, and has been called one of the secrets to a happy life.

When we listen with a purpose a new life opens up to us. Learn this skill well and it will reward you greatly.

Some listening tips if person to person

1. Lean forward in your chair
2. Look the person in the face
3. Concentrate on what is being said
4. Look for body language/movements-beyond the words
5. Listen for content and emotions
6. Repeat what the person says
7. Do not allow interruptions and do not interrupt.
8. State your opinions

Tips for telephone listening.

1. Do not multi task.
2. Do take notes if possible
3. Do not interrupt
4. Concentrate on what is being said.
5. Repeat back what was stated to insure you got it correct.
6. State your opinions only after they have finished.

Listening doesn’t mean you sit still, look in the direction of the person, and never speak a word. It does mean you hear what they are saying. Hearing takes more than a pair of healthy ears. It means you tune in. Pretend like you have radio tuners built into your head, you have to train yourself to tune in to that’s person’s frequency. Based on what they are saying, you should have a response.

“I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” Larry King.

When you don’t have anything else to give, listen. Listening is like giving someone a surprise wrapped up in a pretty box. As they begin to talk to you and they see you are hearing what they have to say, they open the box a little more until they are totally exposed before your eyes.

In the act of listening, you have given something precious to a person who will cherish the time you spent with them.

Honor Yourself!

You Can Listen Too!

Image: dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.” The grandson thought for a minute, then asked his grandfather “Which wolf wins?’ The old Cherokee simply replied, “The One You Feed!

Obtained from Rick Crawford

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