First, one has to feel safe to speak openly from the heart and expose themselves totally. I am an open person and there have been times and places that I will not open up and speak freely because the environment I am in is not conducive to speaking my feelings.

The key to expressing ourselves verbally is being in a safe place with people who truly listen to what we have to say. We are not always looking for answers, we are looking for expression.

Talking in a safe place about what is on your mind helps you put things into the proper order. Things that seem overwhelming can become minimized by talking about the challenge to an outside person without emotional attachment to the issue who truly listens to us is extremely healthy.

It is interesting that our thoughts lead to our feelings and most times our feelings lead to behavior good or not. If you are having negative thoughts you can flip them in an instant by talking openly about them without condemnation from the listener.

Hermann Hesse says, “Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud.”

The point I am making is when you put your thoughts out there in the open you can find clarity and peace as well. Opening up and talking freely is like letting pent up emotions flow out and is replaced by a serene calmness. It can be quite a wonderful experience.

Lets face facts. Do you agree that is so much easier to talk about happy times and events than difficult and challenging times? When you realize there is nothing new under the sun, and you begin to talk about what is going on in your life you realize you no longer have to face setbacks in the lonely oneness of your mind.

Being a good talker is good but being a good listener is Great. I am sure there have been times in your life when you were not able to talk. You just wanted to figure out the situation in your head, because you feel stuck.

These are times when not talking about what is on your mind may be emotionally healthy. The time will come when you want to express your feelings verbally and only you will know when the time is right for you. If you find yourself in this situation listening to others can be very helpful and give you valuable insight into your own issues.

If exercising is good to release stress, so is talking and releasing your fears, sharing your joys and happy times is a big stress buster. Let others celebrate with you.

Finally talking to another person about what is going on in our lives (good and bad) is a basic need. Some of us drift alone in our lives fearful and feeling alone. Some of us fear we will not be accepted because of our differences and the multitude of things that make us unique. What better way to understand others different from us than to listen intently to their lives through their eyes?

I don’t know how you feel about this but I am on a natural high with anticipation of the myriad of wonderful sisters I can meet and learn from this journey.

How about you?

Honor yourself

Written by: Harriette Blye

Yesterday I had the great pleasure of visiting (3) friends, one I had not seen for (12) years.

Over the years (2) of us have kept in close contact.   Three of us live in different cities in Texas and the other was from another state.

We settled on Waco, Texas as a meeting place because it is a good half way point for us.  I live in the Dallas area and others live in or visiting  Austin, TX.

We had lunch at “Buzzard Billy’s” on the Brazos river.  If you have read Larry McMurtry you feel as if you have an intimate relation with the Brazos.  Buzzard Billy’s is a  restaurant with wonderful cajun food, some of it is unique,  like alligator fingers, yes real alligator and no I  was not brave enough to try it.

We caught up with each other’s life.  It was wonderful reconnecting.  All of us have had tradegy in our lives, however we have good fortune and wonderful experiences grace us as well.  We had such a good time together. We love the support we found.  We vowed to keep in close contact.    If you have not visited your friends lately plan now to get together.  It is so rewarding and so much fun.

Honor yourself.

tradegy

We all wonder at some point what our true destiny in life is. We ask questions like; what is my true nature? What occupation/business will work for me effortlessly?

Well, I think we can find our answers by looking first at Mother Nature for a perfect example of how there is peace and harmony and flow with the way she works.

There is no forcing in nature. Notice how naturally and easily the change of seasons occur. Yes, some forces are violent but, there seem to be a cleansing after they occur. This phenomenon is for another article.

The question remain, why do we force upon ourselves jobs, businesses and friends that are contrary our nature. If it goes against your nature it will prove a struggle and will not be successful for you. One of my friends says it aptly, “ It is like giving birth to a set of dishes.’ Impossible!

Have you heard someone say I would do this if I did not get paid or I love doing this. Do you feel this way about your occupation?

You know what your strengths and joys are. You know what you get involved in and time seem to stand still. Look at what makes you happy and what you are doing when you feel peace and joy. Out of these things you will find your true love, your destiny and a path to follow.

What are some of the signs that you are not on your path?

• Do you hate your work?
• Are you constantly stressed at work?
• Do you have trouble sleeping?
• Do you feel overloaded and taxed to the limit?

We are all stressed at times. However, If you answer yes to several of these questions consistently, you are certainly not doing what you are destined to do. You are not on your true path.

You have heard the expression do what you love, follow your passion and money will follow. This is true really because, when you follow your passion you work tirelessly toward the end result, achieving your goals. You will do whatever is necessary to stay true to yourself. It will not be a struggle. Doors will open that were shut and people will show up to assist you out of nowhere. It can be quite magical.

Working your personal path is like a river flowing downstream. It flows easily and effortlessly. It is a beautiful thing.

If you have not found your path ask yourself what am I destined to do and quietly wait for the answer and it will come. When it does you will know it. It could come as a slap in the face or a gently tap. It will show up if you are sincere. When it does, listen.

This quotation by Hardy D Jackson says it all:

“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.”?

Is it foolish to look toward others for your true path. Your path is as unique as your fingerprints. Your path may be similar to others but, you must put your personal stamp on your path.

Do not come to the end of your days on this planet not doing what you love and what you are destined to do, become and have.

Honor yourself!

Nell Elliott and I started an organization called Sisters Safe Talk. We would meet weekly and chat about what was happening in our lives. We felt strongly that other women could use this environment to express themselves without fear of condemnation or reprisal.

As a result, Sisters Safe Talk began. After several false starts we had our first successful meeting. We are so pleased to have this format available to all women. For more information click here to visit our website

It is a wonderful sunny holiday weekend and you have

no plans.  You have not been included in any activities.     You are in despair and wonder “what is wrong with me?’

First of all understand totally there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.  If you have feelings of loneliness there are steps you can take to rectify the problem.  Some of the steps yield immediate results and others are long-term with lasting results.

Lets discuss the steps you can take immediately to change being alone.

 

1. Join groups and organizations that interest you.  Attend events regularly.
2. Volunteer. Do something good for someone in need.  Give your time, it is the most precious thing you have to give, ever.
3. Get a job.
4. Take a class, this one is good.
5. Smile.  When you smile at another person you are saying hello, I accept you.  You are letting the other person know that you are approachable.
6. Introduce yourself.  Give your name and where you are from.
7. We love to talk about ourselves. Focus on the other person.  Ask questions about the other person without getting intimate. Be interested in their life and listen.
8. When you talk about yourself take a risk and do not be superficial.  Reveal the real you without being intimate.
9. Listen and learn.  We can learn something interesting from everyone we meet.

Get started now with things you can do now.

Consider these steps for long-term results as you are developing your short term relationship goals.  If you do not have friends or feel lonely it is time to ask the big question.  Why do I feel lonely? Why do I not have friends?

Food for thought and action to take.

1. Ask yourself what are my talents and my strengths  .  You really do have them. Do not lie to yourself.  Write them down and focus on them.  These will make you feel good about yourself.  An example would be; if you are an excellent swimmer.  Join a swim club or group.  They are available for the young and the not so young.  You get the idea.

 

2. If you are shy, that can appear to others like you are unapproachable.  Join a group or organization that can help you over come this or get books, CD’s on the subject and embark on a campaign to improve this area of your life.  You can also talk with someone you trust and can confide in.

 

3. If you are shy, that can appear to others like you are unapproachable.  Join a group or organization that can help you over come this or get books, CD’s on the subject and embark on a campaign to improve this area of your life.

 

4. Be selective in the long term.  Focus on having a few good friends that you love and love you.  Your goal is involve yourself with people you enjoy being around and offer significant pleasure to you and you them.

 

5. Take small steps to overcome your weak areas.  We all need help.  We are all a work in progress.  No one has arrived, really.  We are continually learning.  Be among those who deliberately learn to be better and not a person who learn by default.

 

6. We are creatures of habit.  We repeat  mistakes, we repeat good habits as well.  After you realize a weak area, make corrections in small increments.  Step out and take a risk.   Continue the process of growing and learning.  Make these corrections habits for a lifetime.    As you mature in your new behavior you will learn the huge difference between loneliness and solitude.  You will cherish your alone time. Honestly you will.

Finally be positive.  Do not dwell on negative.  Realize that you are taking steps to feel better, correct your situation and change your view of what is occurring in your life.   Take these steps immediately to alleviate your challenges of feeling and being alone.  My promise to you is that if you follow these steps,  some are simple and easy and some just simple and not so easy.

When the next bright sunny holiday comes around you will have the invitations  you crave or you will do the inviting yourself.  How wonderful is that.

Honor Yourself!

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Can you hear me now?  That’s a question that many laugh and joke about because of the well known commercials on television. It’s about getting a good enough signal to talk on a cell phone and how one cell phone offers better service than another.

Why not offer the service of listening to our fellow man? Yet, so often, we are too caught up in the things we want to say and we don’t actually hear the things others are saying to us.

This is the sad truth.

The older I get the smarter my mom was. My mom said “God gave you two ears and one mouth.”
Listen more than you talk.   Actually, there is more to it than that.

What do we have to say for ourselves? We could call it self absorption. Like most things in life if we are not taught the correct way to do a thing we will do it by default which is usually totally incorrect.

Developing good listening skills and learning to listen can improve friendships, gather more friends, and has been called one of the secrets to a happy life.

When we listen with a purpose a new life opens up to us. Learn this skill well and it will reward you greatly.

Some listening tips if person to person

1. Lean forward in your chair
2. Look the person in the face
3. Concentrate on what is being said
4. Look for body language/movements-beyond the words
5. Listen for content and emotions
6. Repeat what the person says
7. Do not allow interruptions and do not interrupt.
8. State your opinions

Tips for telephone listening.

1. Do not multi task.
2. Do take notes if possible
3. Do not interrupt
4. Concentrate on what is being said.
5. Repeat back what was stated to insure you got it correct.
6. State your opinions only after they have finished.

Listening doesn’t mean you sit still, look in the direction of the person, and never speak a word. It does mean you hear what they are saying. Hearing takes more than a pair of healthy ears. It means you tune in. Pretend like you have radio tuners built into your head, you have to train yourself to tune in to that’s person’s frequency. Based on what they are saying, you should have a response.

“I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” Larry King.

When you don’t have anything else to give, listen. Listening is like giving someone a surprise wrapped up in a pretty box. As they begin to talk to you and they see you are hearing what they have to say, they open the box a little more until they are totally exposed before your eyes.

In the act of listening, you have given something precious to a person who will cherish the time you spent with them.

Honor Yourself!

You Can Listen Too!

Image: dan / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Picture this scenario…

Your leader in your deal is a friend, you have a great relationship and you work closely together building your business. Your business is growing, you are having fun and all is well…or is it?

Your friend/leader announced regretfully at the end of a recent phone conversation that they are leaving your company for greener pastures. This deal is no longer fulfilling their needs.

You are speechless, literally.

You feel betrayed, abandoned, let down. Soon anger sets in. You are dependent on your friend/leader to help build your nest egg. Why are they leaving you? Do you feel like a jilted lover? What will you do now?

How will you build this thing…alone?

Well…my friend, this is a very good question that we in business relationships must answer.

Let us go back to the beginning of this business relationship.

Give an honest answer to this question.

Why did you join your business opportunity?

Is it because you connected with person who introduced it to you and felt you would have support?   Was the business opportunity a good fit for your beliefs and your integrity?   Did you love the compensation plan or was it your love of the product/service? Did you feel that you could build a great organization despite any challenges?

If you are like the average person beginning a new enterprise you were excited and hopeful. Is this the one that will take me where I want to go and will I have the help/support I need to get there?

Every one of us wants to be accepted, supported and sometimes carried. However, as individuals we all come to the business with different dreams, talents and drive. It is true that we buy and associate with people we like.

This does not mean we are joined at the hip.

The bottom line here is this: If we are in an unsatisfactory business environment that no longer fulfills our needs and goals we owe it to ourselves to look elsewhere.

When you join a company it is very important that you come into it knowing that you will have challenges, disruptions and disappointments.

This is called life.

If your friend call and ask you to join their deal, or if you are seeking an opportunity to pursue, make certain your decision to join is based on sound business principles.

After you start your business get involved and learn as much as possible as fast as possible to maintain your independence.

If your sponsor does not keep their promise (real or assumed) to help you grow, remember why you joined the deal. Not for friendship or relationship but for business.

Move to the next level; find the help you need to move on. This is why it is so important to join the right opportunity for you for the right sound reasons.

If your sponsor/friend will not return your phone calls, drop off, drop out and move on, you can move forward as well.

Honor Yourself!

Image: Filomena Scalise / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: Stefano Valle / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

OK already,  so you have heard this before,  well here it is again.  Do you have a vision board and if not why not?

They are so easy to make, they are fun and when you make them you are deliberately forecasting your future.  How cool is this?

Maybe the question should be, how scary it is  if you do make a vision board.

What is a vision board: It is a snapshot of your personal desires, goals and dreams in drawings, pictures and writings.  When you create a vision board you are having fun and thinking about what you want to come into your life.  You are activating the universal law of attraction to bring these desires into your reality.

A few years ago I decided for the first time to make a vision board.  I had no idea if it would work but I remained opened to the idea that it would. I cut pictures from magazines.  I paste money from foreign countries that I received during my travels.  I put a big cruise ship and lots of interesting, thoughtful and fun things on my board.   I added more items as time passed.   I placed the board in a location that I could view often.  I stared at my vision board everyday for 6 months or more.

I moved my household to a different location and state thus packing the board away.  I unpacked it recently and was overcome with emotions when I realized that everything on that board had come into my life.  I was so full with gratitude as I touched the items on that vision board.

So, needless to say, I started another vision board.

How to start yours:

1. Your subconscious works in pictures and images.  Collect pictures of things you desire to come into your life.  Cars, money, checks, homes, computers, jewelry, large groups for your business. You can add a resignation to your boss or even quotations that move you.   Let your dreams soar.
2. Get colored pencils for drawings and writing.
3. Buy a sturdy board from office store along with glue and tape
4. Draw, write and paste pictures on your board.
5. Use dates you want things to occur.  Go for it.
6. Engage your senses and emotions when adding to your board.

TIP: Do not place anything negative on your vision board, ever!

You vision board is only limited by the extent of your creativity.  It should evoke a positive response from you and make you feel happy when you look at it.

Your vision board should be intentionally placed in a location that gives you maximum exposure to it. Constantly wash your subconscious mind with the energy from your board  to manifest your desires quickly.

If you fear criticism or the need to justify your vision board to others, place it in a private location for your eyes only.  Your little secret.  How delightful.

Start collecting pictures for your board today and begin to live your life by your design.

Honor yourself!

Will you get the desired results you want from your project or goal or will it fizzle out and die in an exhausted heap?

I recently started making cold calls again.  Naturally, I was excited and I started out like a tornado like most of us do when starting a new project.    I made 77 plus dials my first day and vowed to make 100 dials the next day and 150 the day after that.

I was to be this super dialer and super cold caller.   Well need I say more?  Like a tornado I started out fierce and powerful and full of energy…but I soon fizzled out in my first few days.

How do you start a new project?  It doesn’t matter what it is.  It could be going back to college after being out of school for 25 years.  Do you take a full load or do you take one or two classes to begin?   Maybe you desire to loose 50 pounds, get in shape, get your health back or any goal you may have.  The way you begin your project will determine how your project will end.

I remember when I was learning to play the piano as an adult.  At that time I was very busy.  I owned a brick and mortar business with over 50 employees and my time was limited.  I would practice for an hour before my lesson.  My performance was dismal.

My teacher informed me that it is more productive to practice 15 minutes a day rather than an hour  before my piano lesson.  She was correct.  I tried it and it worked.  If you have something you want to learn and a task to do try doing it in 15 minute increments.  We all can find an extra 15 minutes in a day.

There is only one way to be successful with your projects and goals and it is to begin in a slow and strategic manner.  Let’s use the example most of us understand, losing weight.   Why not change your eating habits slowly rather than a flash in the pan quick diet?

If you drink three soft drinks daily, cut down to 2 a day for the first few days then down to 1 a day after that.  After you are successful  consider walking for 15 minutes increments for a week then increase to 20 minutes the next week and on to 30 minutes after one month.  You get the point?

This gradual build up increase the odds of your successful long term weight loss goal being permanent. To begin by walking an hour when you perhaps have not walked 5 minutes in the past 10 years is unrealistic but this is exactly what some folks do.  As I think about it, everything I have had success at, I did in steady increments that increased over time.  

Don’t be a flash in the pan.  Think long term.

TIP:

Set your goal, set your plan, slowly but surely get started and build momentum.  It works.

It is the steady consistent action that takes you where you want to go.  When roadblocks come up and they will, it is called life, make adjustments and keep going.

Confucius says, “ When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust goals, adjust the action steps.”

Back to my cold calling.  Now that I have set realistic goals, I am beginning to enjoy it as I once did.  This time around I started out slowly and I am gradually building up to my desired outcome.

Go easy on yourself and give yourself some love. Try this tactic with your next project.

Honor Yourself!

Image: Danilo Rizzuti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I spent many years living in Florida and the weather there taught me great lessons about life.

I especially remember an early morning before dawn. I was awaken by thunder that rumbled and made my house shutter. The lightening was so sharp that it lit my bedroom like daylight. 
Our dog Ralphy was scared of bad weather, he jumped in the bed with my husband and I.

Now I am one of these people who sleep like a log with the rain and inclement weather. So why was I not in a dreamy restful sleep?

I realized that I had gone to bed worried and depressed. I woke up with that same sick feeling. My business that I was growing was not going well. The more I pondered and worried about my situation the louder the thunder and the sharper the lightening. The rain was so loud against the windows it sounded like hail. Maybe it was.

As time passed dawn came with a thick black cloud cover. Gradually…the thunder and lightening eased and the rain subsided. The cloud cover gradually throughout the day rolled over and the sun shone through.

As the morning progressed I thought about how frightening the storm was and how beautiful the day turned out. The air was clean, fresh and the grass and trees looked greener. The sky was that brilliant blue we all love and recognize. The storm gave us much needed water to drink. Then I remembered the ole saying…no water…no food. Though scary as the storm was much good came from it.

Suddenly, I felt so much better. I realized that in my life I go through bad and trying times that are dark and scary like that storm. When I go through those times I now ask myself what lessons can I learn from what I am now experiencing and what good can come of it.

I know without a doubt that If I remain focused on where I want to go and not concentrate on where I am any storm I am living through will also pass like the storms of nature. It is all the same thing? So, hold on.

Honor Yourself!