8 Ways To Drop the Victim Mentality And Succeed.

blamegame 300x300 8 Ways To Drop the Victim Mentality And Succeed.It is not my fault!

At some point in our lives we all play the blame game, until we learn better. Maybe we do not know any other way.  We think it works for us but it doesn’t.

It is easier to blame others for our failures and escape responsibility for our life.  It is painful to admit mistakes especially costly ones.  Let’s pass the blame on to someone else.

Now, do you feel better?

 

Unsuccessful people always blame someone else for their situation.  In any exchange the words “it is not my fault” always enter into the conversation.  When people continue to have failures they continue to play the blame game.

Without taking responsibility for your life and its direction, you are giving your power away to the person  you are blaming.  Does this person care about your life?  Is this person going to fix your life?   Is this person thinking about you and your situation?

I have made many bad decisions and suffered the consequences as well.  I accept 100% responsibility for those lousy choices.  I learned many lessons about myself and my family as a result of them.  I will not repeat them.

Big Tip:

  • This is one of the most important things I have learned about lessons.  If we fail to learn from them, we have a nasty habit of repeating the mistake.  The consequences are more devastating each time we do not learn our lessons and more on.

Take complete responsibility for your life and your choices. When choices you make do not happen as desired you are in control and can determine how to react to the incident.  You can make a decision to learn from the situation, grow, expand, interact with love ones and hold your faith close to you.

If something bad is happening to you in your life accept that it is happening because of a decision you made and it was an error in your thinking. Know that you thought this way because of the information you had at the time. This difficult situation came to you to teach you a lesson. Learn from it and move forward. Take full responsibility.

This is how to do it:

  1. Repeat this phrase continually “I am responsible for my life.”

  2. Decide now to develop a plan to work on eliminating your insecurities. There are many books and CD’s to assist you with this.

  3. When you find yourself blaming anyone or anything ever again remind yourself that you only make decisions for your life and you only can correct them.  Keep your power.

  4. Stop listening to others make excuses for their life situations.

  5. Watch what you say to others in conversations as you evolve.  You are responsibility no matter what.

  6. When you blame other are you afraid to look at yourself?  Are you really afraid of what you might see?  Look long and steady and make the necessary changes to fuel your new life of responsibility.

  7. Taking responsibility will completely eliminate you desire to hold grudges against others.  How freeing is that?

  8. Don’t blame anyone else for anything. No more why me?

Accept unconditionally that you create your life, you create it, and you are 100% responsible for it.  YOU can change it.  Drop the victim mentality or stay stuck in fear.

There are so many positive results in store for you when you make the decision to take charge of your life.  Make a plan and start now from this point in time.

Honor yourself!

Be the first to like.

Meet New People…Be Bold

Meet New people Be Bold

Being new in the Seattle area and now wanting to grow my business and get some exposure I was on the hunt for any situation to gain publicity for my business.  I found a local networking group and though I had not been in the game for some time, I put my foot forward and went to the group meeting.  It was at a local eatery, we have lots of good local owned places to eat in Seattle.  There was only (8) or so of us there.  I thought this is interesting and a good start for me.

 

 

66320 20140224 300x199 Meet New People...Be Bold

 

I ask the local insurance agent, J.R. Gillespie for other groups I might join and interact with.  He gave me one Called Tabors 100.  The group met last Saturday.

Did I ever have second and third thoughts about going? Resounding yes!  When I MapQuest the directions my daughter said to avoid Interstate (5) because of construction, only one lane is open.  So what did I do?  I open my phone and used maps there for an alternate route.  The weather was awful, rain, cold, some sleet and to make things worse, there was construction downtown Seattle that was not available on my phone maps. I was totally lost.  Do I turn around?  No, you see I am the kind of person who has to look at the sun to know if I am going east, west, north or south.  No sun that day.  So what did I do, I remember my husband had insisted we put a direction indication in the rear view mirror.  Thank you Ronnie.

So…no more thoughts of being late or turning around or maybe J.R. will not show up.  I find the place and you guessed, no parking available.  Almost everyone parks on the street in Seattle so I utilized my parallel parking skills and zipped into a space.  Whew!

I grabbed my hat, my coat, briefcase and supplies.  Off I went.  I was greeted and after giving my contact information, not knowing what to expect, I walked into the room with about 75 people, I was so stunned to see this and when I saw the welcoming breakfast buffet I was totally surprised.  This was not a continental breakfast but a full one with southern grits, eggs, bacon, hot links and all that goes with it.  Yummy.

After making myself comfortable with my meal I scanned the room for J.R.  No J.R in sight.  No matter, I say, I feel great I want to see what this is all about, I want the details.  The meeting was set to last 2 hours and there was an agenda.  Nothing like I expected.  After hearing several folks speak about what they had to offer members, I was intrigued.  After about one and a quarter hour we all had a chance to go around the room and give our spiel.

I gave mine and did beautifully.  Thank you Jeremiah Johnson coach from Denton, Texas.  At some point in the morning I set up a small display on my table. During my short speech I invited others to stop by my table and see the small display.  It was so interesting to see so many people interested in my purple water and wanted more information as soon as possible.

I felt so good about the group and the people I met there.  My table mates were fantastic. I joined the group that morning.  Oh yes!  No regrets at all.  I am excited about what I can offer the organization knowing I will be helped as a byproduct of helping others.   I left the meeting feeling so good, being new to Seattle  I no longer feel isolated, handicap by not knowing others and not knowing who to call upon for the support and help I will need.  Just think about all the people I have yet to meet.  How exciting.

The moral of this story is get out the house, meet people, join a group, extend yourself, help someone, make the effort.  Who said, Fortune favors the bold.  I was bold when I walked out of my home into that bad weather, I was bold when I put that small display on the table.  I had not done that before.  Doing new things will open the doors, you only have to walk through, your good fortune could be on the other side.

Honor Yourself!

 

Be the first to like.

Granddaughters visit- Sanna my Sue

 

 

My grandchildren had not been to my new home since I moved to a different part of the country.

After all of the delightful hugs and greetings my granddaughter Sanna my Sue, (my love name for her) walked around the house touching objects and stating where she had seen them last.  Sanna my Sue is eight years old.

She touched a set of coasters and stated that they were on a round table in the family room and later moved to the bookcase.  She rubbed a vase and said it was on the fireplace.  Actually it was on the mantle.  She remembered certain pictures on the wall and their location in my previous home.  I have a picture on the wall in the kitchen of my new home that was in the kitchen in my previous home.  She caught that.  She pointed to and touched many objects and talked about their familiarity to her.

I found this so enjoyable and contemplated why I felt this way and what did it mean.  I surmised that we all like to be connected one way or another to other people and to our things. We like new but we want the ease of being with our old stuff as well.   I had no idea  my granddaughter connected the objects in my home with me.

My stuff makes me feel comfortable and my things made Sanna my Sue feel she was at Granna’s house and all is well.

If you enjoyed this post do not miss another one, please subscribe to my blog below.     Thank you

Honor Yourself!

1 person likes this post.

Your Difficult Times Will End

photo 31 300x224 Your Difficult Times Will EndWe can learn a lot from nature as it relate to our lives. Before I get on with what I have to say let me recognize that everyone on this planet have their challenges that is unique to them and present a hardship for them to bear and grow from. Yes, I did say to grow from.

The following story is true as it happened to me recently and though somewhat terrifying the life lessons were all around me and oh, how I learned and recognized the event for what it was.

My husband, daughter and I were traveling from the Dallas, Texas area to Seattle, Washington by car. Unlike most folks we love and adore these cross country treks. We look forward to the adventure and what these trips will bring into our reality. Mostly, we look forward to what we will learn and how those lessons will impact our life. We sometime look for these life lessons from people we meet on our journey and our interaction with them. Occasionally, we get our greatest lessons from nature as we did on this trip.

I remember driving that morning for about 5-6 hours and was due for a break. After we stopped for a fill up and some refreshments my daughter took over and delegated me to the back seat. I did not do what some back seat drivers do which is give advice, I took a nap. When I woke up we were travelling on interstate 25 just north of Wheatland, Wyoming.

photo 32 300x224 Your Difficult Times Will End

I commented that this is such a magnificent country. I text this to a few friends as well. I then noticed the clouds, grey and so unusual. I thought rain… I noticed a couple cruising by on a motor cycle and commented to my family that they were towing a tent and how sharp they looked. Dressed out and matching with helmets, leather leggings and jackets that matched their Harley and tent they were towing. I also commented that they could get drenched by the rain.

So… they passed us and I did observe them way up the road. Back to the clouds… I took a couple of pictures of the clouds and commented again because the clouds were turning black and getting ragged around the lower edges. I commented that the clouds look like black tornado clouds.

Immediately after making this statement I get an emergency alert on my phone. What! I say. I read to my family, tornado warning in this area till 2:30 PM MST. Take shelter now. We check our surroundings and there is no place to take shelter. We and a few drivers are in the open and ready to be picked off for heavens only knows what.

Immediately, we heard what sounded like someone had thrown a rock at our car, seconds later rain and hail started with abandon along with thunder and lightening and we were stuck with indecision. Should we stop, should we go, if we go where do we go, there is no cover. The hail was of varying sizes. Marble size to larger than golf ball sizes. It was very scary… and at this point we knew we had no control.

We stopped for a few seconds… and decided to continue driving, to drive out of the hail storm and seek shelter. At this point our windshield gave in to the huge hail balls. It cracked in a circle on the passenger side and then a single line across to the drivers side. There were multiple dents in my hood, deck lid, top of the car and doors.

As we drove the hail gave way to torrential rain with thunder and lightening.

When we finally came to an overpass about 7-8 minutes later there was no space to hang out. We moved on to another over pass a few miles along. The hail had stopped and the rain subsided to a drizzle.

The black clouds were in our rear window and the sun was peaking through. I thought, all of that and now sunshine. What do I make of this experience?

The lesson.

My first thought after this drama was… this is how life goes. When trouble comes your way, keep moving, keep going, do not stop because no matter what it is or how devastating and painful a turn your troubles take remember, it will pass and the sun will shine again.

photo 33 300x224 Your Difficult Times Will End

I looked at the windshield and thought, this is amazing. At the next town we ran into a man who owned a glass shop and he assured us we would be safe to drive the car to our destination where we could get the glass and the dings and dents repaired.

I admit, I was fearful of the window crashing in and my family not being safe. To my daughters credit, she was an extremely cool driver under pressure. I was impressed!

Lessons come to each of us in so many ways. Always look for them and the lessons will move you forward to a solution and a better place in your mind emotionally, physically and financially too.

Honor yourself.

Be the first to like.

Different is wonderful


photo 18 224x300 Different is wonderful

 

I was out walking a couple of days ago and I passed a row of trees that really caught my attention.  I had noticed these trees before and I am not sure why I found them so appealing this day.  I do know that trees change with the seasons and perhaps being spring with new life beginning and with the small intricate leaves is what caught me.

Today, I stopped, touched, rubbed and appreciated the differences in the two trees that were side by side.

One of the trees had a smooth long striated bark.  The color was tan, gray and cream.  The other tree I am sure was some type of oak.  The bark on that tree was deep grey and brown color with irregular groves and very rough to tough.  It is beautiful as well.  I enjoyed rubbing and touching those trees.

I was overwhelmed with feelings as I explored the trees.  I felt grounded and sure.  Those trees reminded me as well of how different we as people are.  None of us are the same.  What a miracle we are.

We are distinct on so many levels that I cannot cover them all in this article.  Some of our differences include language, height, weight, hair texture, hair color, skin color, intellect, and temperament.  Yet, we are humans.   Different, but the same.

A better example is thinking about the gene pool.  If our siblings have the same mother and father sometimes we do not resemble in our features but we could have similar voice or mannerisms as our parents.  My grandchildren’s cat had a few kittens a while back, they were all distinctly different.  I observed them in wonderment. I thought,  this is interesting.   Their DNA gene pool is completely mixed up.

Being different is  wonderful because you can be authentic, original and yourself knowing there is no one on this planet exactly like you.  When you see someone you want to emulate and copy, do not do it.   If you know them well and they have a personality trait you would like to imitate like, being a kind person or being a happy person, strive to be that way but remain true to your uniqueness. Take a good look inside for your core values and present them forward in a big way. Showcase who you are.  Always treasure and respect yourself no matter what.

Those who love and care about you want you to be authentic and truly totally who you are. Learn that being different is a blessing and a wonderful thing.

Those trees live and co-exist being what they are and doing what they do oblivious of attempting to be or do anything other than that.  That being so, why are we so easily led to believe that who we are is wrong?

photo 19 224x300 Different is wonderful

Look around the room you are in now, how many similar things do you see.  For me, I see books on my bookshelf.  Some beautifully bound, some thick, some thin, paperback, tall ones, and colorful books.  I have rugs on my floor.  Different colors sizes and shapes, I have blinds hanging at my windows the same but different sizes, I have light fixtures, lamps, chandeliers, ceiling lights, ceiling fans with lights, brass, glass, candle holders.  All different, yet all the same.  It would be awful for us if we could only buy one type lamp.  Imagine that.  Personally, I am partial to floor lamps.

I have been married for many years.  Why did we choose each other?  It would not have been a choice if all men were the same and all women were the same.  I wonder how that gene pool and DNA would work out.  This could get complicated.  Do you get my point?    Embrace yourself, enlighten who you are and strive to be the best you can be.  I am thankful for those trees and the insight they bought to my reality.

Honor yourself!

Be the first to like.

My Passion For Healthy And Healing Drinking Water

My Friends:  those of you who know me understand my passion for clean healthy drinking water. There are so many water choices for us now because big business has gotten into the water business.

 I knew that our body is made up of more than 70 percent water but did not give it much thought until recently.

I have come to understand that our drinking water is more precious and valuable than gold or/and oil.

I have a new education website about water and how it serves us all.  Take a few minutes and educate your self about water for you and your family.

 

click here now

Honor yourself!

Be the first to like.

Kind Words


photo 9 150x150 Kind Words

There are many people on this planet we inhabit who are soft, gentle and kind. Kind most of all. We all have had days when a person spoke a few words to us and lifted us up and we felt better. It could have been you who spoke words to another person who needed to hear them.

Each day people cross our paths who are in pain, we know this because all of us carry burdens all our own. A few caring words spoken can infer a new beginning, a new thought string that leads to solving a problem, a fresh path to look into or perhaps a good feeling to ease the heavy, full and overwhelming feeling for a time.

Appreciating thoughtful acts are inborn in all of us especially when we are exposed to the opposite. How did you feel the last time someone scowled at you? What happened to your mood the last time someone cut you off in traffic and could have caused severe problems to you and your passengers? What happened to your good mood when someone screamed to you or was impatient with your actions, especially when you are doing your very best. Remember how you felt…

“To belittle, you have to be little.” -Khalil Gibran, the Prophet

I remember when I was in school we were rough and tough on each other, we joked about each other, talked about each other and it was all in jest. We knew our class mates cared about us. Today it is so important that we teach our children the value of kindness to another person and how this will carry them very far in life with an abundance of friends and business associates alike. Our children must learn to be kindhearted to other children especially if they are different.

Other ways to express considerate feelings that are critical is to show thoughtfulness toward our environment and this magnificent planet by not polluting – loving our pets and showing gentleness toward them by giving them fresh water and food daily. By all means be good to yourself. Lighten up if you make a mistake, it is human to do so. Be good to the body you inhabit. It is precious.

Acts of kindness need not be some giant gesture, or a large sum of money given. A kind act is as simple and urgently needed as a smile that says, “I accept you.” When you smile at another person and they smile back it gives a good feeling to both parties and they give this good feeling to other people they meet. It continues to vibrate outward. What can compete with this?

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” -Mother Teresa

Most people never think about being kind because for most it comes naturally. There are times when we are overawed with our burdens and we forget how important it is to show compassion to others. It is at these times we need to be especially thoughtful and gentle toward other people because it comes back to us and give us the support we need.

Being kind is as simple as a pleasant conversation, an encouraging few words, a phone call expressing concern and care, a letter, an email, listening completely with your body and a smile. If being kind is not natural, be deliberate about it. With practice it will become a part of who you are.

“Anytime I perform an act of kindness, a part of me heals.”

- Lupi Ngcayisa

There are thousands of ways you can express random or deliberate acts of kindness to other people and creatures alike.

Be kind, it boomerangs back to you forcefully.

Honor yourself!

 

 

Be the first to like.

I Love You

On Valentines Day I enjoyed watching many people  buying all sorts of niceties and trinkets for the special people in their life to celebrate that day of love. This is all good and well but it begs the question; what exactly is ‘love’?

It’s a great question to be sure.  Love comes in many forms and encompasses a wide range of feelings.  With that in mind I thought we would take a look at the different kinds of love out there and ask my readers for their opinions and feedback too.

Love, for example, is the feeling a young boy can have for his dog.  Many people, as a matter of fact, have pets that they love and, when they lose them, are often as devastated as if an actual person had passed.

There is the love that a parent can have for their children or that a daughter can have for her mother.  This of course isn’t romantic love but it is a very strong emotion and can cause an incredible range of feelings in both child and parent.

There are some that will tell you they love their city’s ball club, or love a certain restaurant they frequent, perhaps a movie recently viewed.  Certain foods and beverages are said to be the ones that a person ’loves’ and indeed McDonald’s, the fast food behemoth, uses the words ‘I’m Lovin’ it’ right in their advertising campaign.

The love that a person can have for a friend can be very powerful, especially if the friendship has been a long one and has endured many valleys and peaks.

And then of course there is the love that people have for each other, the ‘romantic’ love that all those songs, books, poems, sonnets and movies are always talking about.

I thought I would check out what the bible says about love. “ 1st Corinthians 13:4; Love is long-suffering and kind.  Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up.”  I truly appreciate this definition of love.  It indeed covers love in all of its feelings, passions and wonderment.

 That definition speaks to us all and let us know we can love our mate, our children, our friends, our neighbors, our pets, our food and our ball team.

The magnificence of LOVE is broad and all encompassing.  Behold the wonder of LOVE.

Expand your life and enjoy being in love in its many ways and with many people as humanly possible.

Honor yourself!

Be the first to like.

Are You A Giver Or A Taker

You can accept this or not.  You are a giver or you are a taker.  Where do you stand?  Think about your friends, family and others you may know.  Can you see vividly how they fall into one category or another?

Briefly, I think there is good and not so good about each category.  If you are a giver this is who you are and what you do.  You give your time, your money, your energy, your love and devotion freely.  If you are a taker you accept others time, money, energy and love and devotion freely.  If you do not appreciate what I am saying think about how you love, how you give and take.   Givers find it hard to receive and takers find it difficult to give or they give in a measured way.

Is there a gray area, can we be balanced?  I am a giver and I work on taking as well, it requires constant awareness on my part because it is not who I am.

It is of great benefit to us if we can be  well-adjusted.  It is something to work toward.

Honor yourself!

Be the first to like.

How I Got Unstuck

How

Today I feel like I am pulled in 50 different directions.

Immediately you understand this feeling, don’t you?   I feel anxious inside and out.  I feel the urgent need to do more than one thing at this time.  I feel slightly depressed because I know I cannot begin to do all that needs to be done.  I have all of these ideas and thoughts going through my mind.  Where do I start?  How do I start?  How did I get into this situation? How do I get out?  I am paralyzed.  I want to do nothing but sit and maybe contemplate or sleep or wish it away.  I do none of those things.

Help!

Well… the first thing I did was take a few deep breaths and say to me as I breathe in “calm” and as I breathe out “relax.”

As I did this I went to my special place in my mind that has a calming effect on me and stayed there for a few minutes.  When I came out of my relaxation I felt somewhat better or should I say better able to figure out how to tackle the monumental number of tasks I had to do.

After my relaxation I could see a bit clearer and I grabbed a tablet and began to write all of my thoughts on paper thinking just get those thoughts out of my head now.   As I do this I do feel even better.  My thoughts are sorted into tasks and I narrowed those tasks down even further into bite size manageable projects and gave those projects time limits and placed contacts and phone number I would need for assistance and collaboration.

If I needed a system to help me I would design something simple.  An example would be this:  When I get on the internet time flies by for me.  We know time goes like it always does therefore, my system is to use a timer and when my timer goes off I am off the internet and I move on to another project and task.  This is an easy and simple system to keep me on time for my projects.  You can design your own.  Keep it simple.

I began to place the items in order of importance. I organized and planned for 3 months and plan to do the next three months very soon.  It is quite a list.  I realized I could defer some items to the future and this was quite a relief for me.

As I worked on this list I began to feel so much better.  I feel empowered.  I thought this was strange because I had not performed any of the tasks that was consuming my mind and driving me insane.

After the list was made I began to chip away at it.  I paid my immediate bills first; I had put this off for a few days not knowing why I did until now.  I know this seems like a no brainer but you must understand I was paralyzed with so much on my plate to chaw away at as my grandpa John would say.

The second thing I did was hire a coach to assist me with my e-books.   I knew not to overload myself and only wrote as daily tasks what I knew for sure I could manage only pushing myself a little and doing more if possible.

When I got through this episode of desperation I wondered what other things I could have done to help get me moving.  This is what I came up with.

  1.  I could have taken a short walk.  The temperature was in the 50’s, ideal for walking and thinking.  Walking also helps to divert or distract my thinking.  There are times when  I get excellent solutions to challenges I am facing as well.

  2. Talk to a friend, I did this and it was helpful.

  3. I could read a chapter in a book as a diversion.

  4. I could go to a movie.

  5. I could write about my experience and this is what I did.  Journaling works as well.

We all have times when life piles up and then add more stuff and we need a way or a tool to sort things to be done out.  Use these techniques quickly to get moving again and get unstuck.  These are simple ideas and they work.

Honor yourself!

Be the first to like.